Expectations & what you should expect

Expectations are a dangerous game we all play with everyone and ourselves. I recently talked with someone very close to me about this subject, although I was too drunk to clearly articulate my viewpoints on the subject. Go figure, right? Well here is my attempt at concisely conveying my thoughts on the subject.

Expectations can be divided into three main areas: expectations one places on themselves, expectations one places on others, and expectations one has of the world. From my experiences, expectations can be good or bad or somewhere in between. Take for instance the first category, expectations on oneself: If you set them too low, you will end up being content with being a lesser version of yourself, place them too high and you'll hate yourself for failing yourself, However if you set realistic goals for yourself and work to meet them you can very easily become a better person with more respect and love for yourself.

Expectations on the world: these are super dangerous for you. You must be realistic and flexible. It's a big world with billions of people in it. we all make it what it is. If you aren't happy with the way it is, then change yourself to be more in alignment with how you wish it to be. You cannot expect the world to be anything other than what it is. However, you can change your role in the world and encourage others to do the same but that's pretty much it, but it is a lot more than you may think. You can influence everything to a better outcome simply by being better yourself.

The last category is expectations of others. It's a very dangerous game. This one is very important because it plays a major factor in our happiness with others and eventually ourselves by extension of the fact that we are social creatures. I no longer place my own expectations onto others anymore, I have yet to meet someone that truly gave a shit about my expectations of them, therefore it is a waste of my time and sanity to dole these arbitrary list of things I think people should do and who they should be. It's not my right to place expectations on others, not to mention I'm tired of being disappointed by people. Now I just try to listen to people and figure out their expectations of themselves and I watch to see how they handle themselves. Are they just saying shit or actually doing it?  Basically, I doooo have expectations but they aren't just some things I expect someone to be or do based on what I want or think. I base my expectations of others based on what people say they want for themselves, I believe them and hold them to that. If they don't have the ability to achieve that then wtf difference would me adding my own expectations on top of that do when they can't even meet their own? I actively try to not have expectations of others for the most part other than expecting them to meet their own expectations of themselves.

I don't judge people based on what they do, I judge them based on who they claim to want to be and what they actually are in comparison to that and factor in whether they are even trying for that goal. I mean, don't say you are looking for true love when you're sleeping around with people who you know have no shot at being your true love or that you don't even know well enough to have a fair assessment of them in that fashion. Don't say you are looking for happiness when you are seeking chaos. Don't tell me you are wanting this when you are clearly doing that. Or do, I don't care, your path to happiness is not one that affects my path to my happiness. It really only matters to me whether someone meets my expectations or not, they don't really care and I know this. I decide who means what to me just as they decide what I mean to them. I expect everyone to be whomever the fuck they want to be. If you want to be a slut, then be a slut, no worries. If you don't want to be a slut, then don't be a slut. You're the one who has to live with everything you do, not me. Find out who you are, who you want to be and keep focused on personal growth. People decide for themselves who they want to be, and they will most certainly decide what you mean to them and what they expect of themselves in regards to you. You have no direct say in the matter, all you can hope to do is to be the best you that you can be and if they decide that is good enough for them then they'll be there and be there exactly how much they want to be in the role they choose to fulfill. We all decide who we are for ourselves and we all decide who we want to be in regards to each and everyone we meet/know. Hope for the best, be the best, make the best, live the best. And if you want the best, you know where I am. ;-)