My Standard Disclaimer
This supersedes all previous notices. Read at your own risk. You don't have to read this, it is only a standard disclaimer; Don't look into it but you can trust me, I'm almost a doctor. Remain Calm, it's only ones and zeros. Meant for de-educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or to any cat, dog, goldfish, insect, bacteria, mineral, etc, is quite inconsequential and will vehemently be claimed as unintentional. Apply only to unaffected area(s). Parental discretion advised to parentally neglected children. May be too intense for some viewers. In an existential void where prohibited. Driver does not carry cash or a tune. All rights reserved - however some wrongs are left available intentionally. Some assembly required. Batteries possibly included. Contents may or may not settle during shipment. Use only as directed, unless directed otherwise. For recreational use only, unless needed medically. If condition persists, consult your physician, if condition still exists, then consult your "holy man". No other warranty expressed or implied even if explicitly stated. Do not disturb, I am disturbed enough as is. This is not an offer to sell securities unless you need to buy securities. Subject to change with or without notice. Time is relative and approximate. Simulated picture is formatted to fit your screen, do not attempt to adjust your television set. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States & Alpha Centuri if you are a member. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement and may constitute as animal abuse in certain extreme cases. For off-road and on-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits some but never all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-edible ingredients. Colors may, in space-time, fade. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop-in any mailbox. Ich bin..., aeh, ich war..., aeh, was bin ich eigentlich? Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. No solicitors. Return to sender, no forwarding address is on file, we are unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. All models over 18 years of age. No user-serviceable parts inside. Unavailable at unparticipating locations. Penalty for private and public use. Sign here without admitting guilt. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner here: O . Place stamp here. Processed at location stamped in code at what was assumed at the time by the possibly drunk minimum wage worker to be the top of the document. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly unendorsed. Do not use while sleeping. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of cat. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Not responsible for items left, lost or stolen. Limited time offer, call now to insure a delayed delivery. You must be present to win, losers. While on medication, avoid the use of car-machines and juggling sharp objects. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Qualty assurance is guaranteed double checked although this is no guarantee of qualty. Use only in well-ventilated area when possible, if not possible - stop when you can taste sound, smell colors or see reddish-brown and/or blueish-yellow. Dig well to at least 420 feet deep. No swimming unless lifeguard is presently present. beware of swimming with sharks during menstruation! Please do not wade in fountain. Keep away from fire or flame. The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied. Replace defective parts with same product type. Approved for daily use. Use seatbelts even with airbags. Do not stop on railroad tracks. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional and/or fictional. Price does not include taxes and may include asshole fees. Rerecorded for this space-time zone. No free passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary, however if you do make a purchase it will not increase your chances of winning, although bribery will increase your random chance to win. Reproduction strictly uninhibited. No glass bottles or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Not packaged for resale. List at least two alternate dates. No shoes, no shirt, probably no home, no service. Firmly grasp at bottom, then pull up, then pull down, be careful not to tear. Fragile - handle with tender loving care. This side must face this side. No jumping or diving. No running by the pool or on the water. Hand wash only - do not wash with feet or "other" appendages. Tumble dry on extra medium heat. Product will be hot after heating. Discoloration of garment may or may not occur. There is an extremely small but non-zero chance that this will warp Space-Time & Humor when in its vicinity. This blog is free, however donations will be gladly accepted at a rate of $2.98/min, AE/V/MC/Cash - No Canadian coins accepted by the machine. Prices subject to change at any time for any reason by anyone anywhere. Welcome to the Machine. Watch for falling rocks and stars. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only and all rights and probably lefts too are the sole property of the assholes who own it. The left side is intentionally left. According to certain suggested versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years and may or may not be present in the physical dimension we exist in at any time. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center for official excuse and repair. The entire physical universe, which includes this blog, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space and should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this blog in that universe cannot be guaranteed. Results are typically atypical. Please be kind, rewind. This could potentially shorten the life of your F, U, backspace and Spacebar keys. All issues should be logged with engineering staff during irregular business hours and minutes. If nobody saw me do it then it wasn't me because I wasn't there. For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill. I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. I am accountable for my actions unless it has to do with accounting, then it's my accountants responsibility to be accountable. This blog is comprised of no less than 100% recycled electrons. Nothing is so worse that it can not get worser -- except my engrish. Sorry fuer dieses Missverstaendnis, aber hierdran merkt man wieder, wie schwierig es doch manchmal ist, mit ich umzugehen, und wie exakt man sich doch ausdruecken muss. Wenn ich immer wuesste, was ich tue, waere das nur das halbe Vergnuegen.
Not all opinions are necessarily mine, and probably not necessary. These opinions are mine, I doubt that they have ever belonged to anyone else, but if you think you might have lost them, please get in touch with a shrink and a lawyer. I will not prefix everything I say with "I think" or "in my opinion"; obviously everything I say is my opinion unless you agree, in which case they`re ours unless I dislike you, then you are a plagiarist. Certainly the only thing of which I am certain of is that there is very little of which one can be certain. This disclaimer may not be copied or reproduced in any form unless you choose to do so illegally. Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers. No computers were harmed during the creation of this blog, however several trillion electrons were abused to ensure its safe delivery. If you expect an intelligent answer, you should give me an intelligent question. This disclaimer disclaims the disclamation the validity of its disclaimancy and and all other disclaimers in addition to anything else I want to be disclaimed. You may or may not have additional rights which may vary from municipality to municipality, state to state, country to country, galaxy to galaxy, supercluster to supercluster, and multiverse to multiverse. List was current at time of listing, all future updates to this list still applies at this time.
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